A love of clothing & personal style often gets a bad rap. An interest in how we dress is often viewed as frivolous, a waste of time or vain. Needless to say, I beg to differ…
THE TRANSFORMATIVE POWER OF CLOTHING
What you choose to wear has the power to affect not only how you look, but how you feel. The right outfit can make you feel like a beautiful confident badass or…it can make you feel small & completely douse your light. That is the transformative power of clothing. When you feel good about yourself, when your self-image is solid often you reach for an outfit that will further enhance that feeling. And when you’re feeling not so great the opposite is often true…you don’t care what you put on because you’re just not feelin’ it. Then the not so great outfit makes you feel even worse…and so it becomes a vicious cycle.
Take a minute & think back on the lost year a.k.a. 2020. So many of us, myself included, spent a solid chunk of time in pj’s or sweats. And I’m not talkin’ the cute sweats that I wear out in public with a pair of heels & a killer jacket…I’m talking about the sweats with coffee stains & a rip or two that I wear to clean the house. Think about how that felt, how you felt. For lack of a better word, let’s go with icky.
Now think about how incredible it felt to put on actual clothing, an actual pretty outfit. Did you not feel f*cking amazing when you started putting effort into your appearance again? I’ll bet that first nice outfit changed not only your mood, but your outlook. Again, that is the transformative power of clothing in action.
If you’re in a place where you’re ready to start your journey to a more confident you, I strongly suggest that you start with your closet. That is truly the place where a solid self-image is born. The me who existed 15 years ago had no idea who she really was or what she truly wanted from life. She was lost inside her own comfort zone & was living a very small life. The first step that I took on the path that I’m now on started with clothing…not only what was in my closet, but how I put it together. The more I learned about style & how to combine pieces to make outfits that felt like me, the more I grew. And the more I grew, the more confident I became.
It all started with a jewel-toned drop waist jumper that I discovered during my first time ever trip to an Express. I loved how it looked…I loved the colors…I loved how I felt when I tried it on. But…I was afraid. What would people think? Would they laugh at me? Would they talk about me behind my back? Something shifted inside me in the dressing room that day though. I loved that jumper enough that I simply did not care. All that mattered was that I felt f*cking incredible when I had it on. After that there was no stopping me…and it all started with a 90’s tie-dyed jumper that made me feel like a rockstar.
“Clothing has the power to completely redefine who you are…”
THE STORIES OUR OUTFITS TELL
What you choose to wear is a reflection of who you are & how you feel on any given day. It’s the basis for assumptions that people make about you when they first lay eyes on you. Think about it…in under a second of seeing someone our eyes scan them, our brain processes what we see & we then form judgements based on that information. It’s just how the human brain works. What we’re wearing sends signals to others as to what kind of person we might be, how we feel about ourselves & what groups we might fit into or not. These initial assumptions aren’t always accurate, but they happen nonetheless. Clothing tells a story that is then put through the filter of the person making the assumption.
In case you doubt me, let me share a couple of examples that are actually weirdly opposite of each other. Years ago my husband & I were in a local jewelry store looking to purchase a diamond ring. After several minutes of being ignored outright by several salespeople, I mean they actually looked at us & walked away, I figured out why. Both of us were wearing our black leather moto jackets & so (wildly inaccurate) assumptions were made. We left without saying a word (I didn’t have the confidence & smart mouth then that I do now), made our purchase elsewhere & never shopped there again.
On the flip side of that, a few weeks ago we stopped in to a Harley Davidson store that we’d never been to before. This time I was wearing a pretty pink sundress (this is the exact outfit if you’re curious). My husband & I own 2 Harleys between us, but since I was looking all girly & not at all biker babe-esque, initially I was hit with a whole lotta condescension from the ladies working there. However in this instance I struck up a conversation with them & confidently browsed the clothing & sweet ass bikes so by the time I made my purchases the ladies realized there was more to me than just a pretty pink sundress.
The point of these stories is this, whether we like it or not, our clothing is always conveying information to the world around us. This is where the importance of confidence & a solid self-image comes into play. You have to be able to wear what you love with an unshakeable belief in who you are.
In the first story, even though I loved that moto jacket (I still wear it to this day), I felt so small when I left the jewelry store because I lacked confidence in who I was. When I left the Harley store? I felt amazing because I had a cool new graphic tee, got to pet a beautiful dog & made a couple of new acquaintances all because I knew I looked good & had the confidence to own it.
THE PERFECT OUTFIT
The definition of the perfect outfit is different for every one of us. Ideally what you’re shooting for is an outfit that simply feels “right”. It tells the the story of who you are that day in that moment. Start with your basic foundation outfit; the pieces that are always authentically you & that you can build upon or tweak as needed. Then add the “fun” pieces…anything that vibes with what you’re feeling that day.
My foundation in today’s outfit is my typical go-to in the summer; denim shorts, a top of some sort & sandals (See here, here & here for more examples of my foundation outfit). I went with a lace trimmed top & added my leather platform sandals in place of my Birks to throw in a lil’ bit of dressiness. I finished it off with a bright kimono (the fun piece) for some summer boho vibes. I could have just as easily added a blazer & dressier sandals to the foundation outfit & would have ended up with an entirely different look…but a look that would’ve still been perfectly me.
THE LINK UPS
Check out the weekly link ups I participate in for even more good reads & style ideas…
Kimono: JCPenney (Similar); Sandals: Walmart (Similar); Shorts: American Eagle (Similar); Top: Similar
