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Self-Confidence & Style / Styling Tips

You’re In Control Of Your Own Light

you're in control of your own light

In general, style for women over 40, whether it be in the form of “advice” or available choices is meant for one purpose & one purpose only; to further dim our light…

 

THE MIDLIFE FEMALE DIMMER SWITCH

It’s a story as old as time. For whatever reason, at some point in history women outside of their childbearing years were deemed unworthy. Unworthy of contributing. Unworthy of having a voice. Unworthy of attention. Unworthy of being seen. Someone somewhere at some point, (most certainly some random dude and no, I’m not a man hater, it’s just an obvious fact) deemed it okay to turn down the dimmer switch on women of a certain age…to douse their light. To make them small. Invisible. Forgettable. Better to be not seen or heard. Before I go any further, I do want to clarify that some of us had our dimmer switches turned down at a very early age & it had nothing to do with middle age. That is for sure a topic for another day, but for today, I’m going to focus specifically on the women in midlife.

Regardless of when your light was dimmed, I say screw that noise…throw on the freakin’ spotlights my friends. Crank that dimmer switch up to the top & then rip it out of the wall! YOU”RE in control of your own light.

YOU’RE IN CONTROL OF YOUR OWN LIGHT

You are worthy of contributing, of being heard, of being seen, of shining your light as brightly as possible. You are worthy of being you. And never give anyone the power to make you feel differently. You’re in control of your own light.

In the last few years the visibility of midlife women has absolutely been changing. From J Lo to Jennifer Aniston to everyday women like us, there are examples everywhere of midlife women who are doing their own thing, vibin’ to their own vibes & shining their own spotlights on their fabulous selves.

There’s no doubt it isn’t easy & we have to be willing to break free of that comfort zone of smallness & quiet. We have to want & I mean really want our light to be seen. We have to make an effort & show up for ourselves every single day. We have to be an active participant in our own lives & not just a silent spectator. We have to use our voices, speak up & speak out. We have to be willing to take risks & do the things that excite us. We have to throw that energy out into the world.

you're in control of your own light

USE STYLE AS YOUR PERSONAL SPOTLIGHT

One of the easiest ways to get started in the role of being your own lighting manager is to up level your personal style. And by “up level” I mean start wearing whatever you damn well please…whatever brings a smile to your face, a bounce to your step & a warm fuzzy feeling in your soul. Learn to listen to your own voice & your own feelings. Learn to give zero thought to if you’re not “dressing your age” or wearing what’s “appropriate”.

Two things that are guaranteed to give my soul all the warm fuzzy feels are ripped denim & a good kimono. And friends, nobody makes a good kimono quite like my friends at Caite & Kyla. And they nail it season after season. If you need proof check out this little lovely from a couple of spring ago or this this drool worthy piece in all the fall colors.

The kimono I’m wearing today is the Lola Kimono from their Spring/Summer 2021 collection. The colors, the flowiness & the mixed print…I’m in love! It’s perfect paired with my favorite denim cut offs, but looks equally as amazing layered over my red sundress.

Trust me on this, there’s no easier way to share your bright gorgeous light with the world than through your clothes. Whether it’s a kimono, the perfect dress or those neon pink paisley pants you’ve been lusting for, dress for yourself & crank up that dimmer switch.

you're in control of your own light you're in control of your own light

THE LINK UPS

Check out the weekly link ups I participate in for even more good reads & style ideas…

you're in control of your own light you're in control of your own light

Kimono: c/o Caite & Kyla;  Shorts: American Eagle (Similar);  Cami: Nordstrom (Similar);  Shoes: adidas (Similar)

*Kimono was received c/o Caite & Kyla. All opinions, as always, are my own.

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Suzy
2 years ago

OMG I freaking love this, Debbie! I’ve been telling my friends this same thing for ages. I’m in control of my own light YEAH BABY!!
You look so gorgeous – I love seeing you in kimonos. I think you’re probably the KIMONO QUEEN!!
Huge hugs
Suzy xx

jess jannenga
2 years ago

Yes! We need to shine like anyone else! I love dressing up and just wearing what I want. It is a great means of self expression. Love the kimono you are wearing and that is one of my favorite ways to style, with denim shorts. Looks great!
Best wishes on your endeavor!

Renee Open
2 years ago

The Kimono is GORGEOUS and I love that you paired it with the ripped cut offs and tank. You are stunning and I LOVE your attitude.

I’m headed toward 45 and I don’t normally promote my own content in comments, but I think you might appreciate my blog and the way I decided to shine as myself in my 40s.

Keep shinning girly, I wouldn’t mind standing in your light for a bit <3
Coming to you from the Chic and Stylish linky!

A Sexual Libra

Jacqui Berry
2 years ago

Love your style, and wow you look super. Thanks for sharing on the blog Jacqui xx

Rena
2 years ago

Great message, Debbie. I couldn’t agree more.

Rena
http://www.finewhateverblog.com

Ada Furxhi
2 years ago

Your posts are always so inspiring, so true, so real. Thank you for keeping it real Debbie and for saying what everyone of us (women) are thinking. We are in control of our own lights and our own switches, of our own styles!

I love your kimonos including the newest kimono vest you have on! You always style shorts so well and this is such a Debbie outfit!

Welcome by and join the linkup on Thursdays. Thank You. =)

https://eleganceandmommyhood.blogspot.com/2021/05/chiffon-pinklavendersky-blue-maxi-dress.html

Shelbee on the Edge
2 years ago

So one of the things I have been really focusing on in therapy is this idea that I deserve to be seen and heard. I actually cringe when I say the words to myself. “Deserve to be seen and heard.” I really struggle with the deserve part. Ugh. But I always take your wise words to heart, my friend. And I really am working hard on getting the noise out of my head so my light can shine brighter! You know that I always wear whatever the hell I damn well please. Now I just need to get my inner… Read more »

Bettye L Rainwater
Reply to  Shelbee on the Edge
2 years ago

you deserve you deserve you deserve you deserve you deserve you deserve you deserve you deserve (say it a hundred more times) cuz YOU DESERVE!!! We ALL deserve! xoxo

Shelbee on the Edge
Reply to  Bettye L Rainwater
2 years ago

Thank you so much, Bettye! I am working hard on this!

xoxo
Shelbee

Mica
2 years ago

That kimono is lovely and I like the bright cami with it! I hope when I’m nearer and in my 40s I’m still rocking the kimonos haha. I don’t see the need to change my style just because I age. I agree with you we should continue to wear what makes us happy 🙂

Hope you are having a great weekend 🙂

Emma Peach
2 years ago

This is so true! In my 20s I just wanted to fit in, now I wear whatever I want and love curating my own style. You look fabulous – I love that kimono! Thanks for linking up!

Emma xxx
http://www.style-splash.com

Jill
2 years ago

I’m with you on wearing what makes us happy! My favorite way to wear a kimono is with shorts. I love that we both styled this kimono in a similar way! Love the red cami!

Jill – <a href=http://dousedinpink.com>Doused in Pink</a>

Bettye L Rainwater
2 years ago

I know no one whose light shines brighter than yours, my friend! You’re doing a great job of living by example 🙂

That kimono! Every time I think I’m over them, I see a beautiful one like this and I’m sucked back in, ha ha!

Bettye

Ruth Read
Ruth Read
2 years ago

I’m in a rut, I’m stuck in the 80’s dress wise. I can’t get over the 80’s5, what a fantastic decade

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