The definition of word is “a letter or group of letters that has meaning when spoken or written”. Words, either in singularity or when grouped together to form sentences, have immense power…
THE STORY
…Words, whether they be spoken or written, give us power that sometimes we don’t even realize that we have; or even if we do realize it, perhaps we don’t take care in how we use that power. Sometimes an offhand comment that we don’t even remember making could potentially affect another person’s self-image for the rest of their lives. Read that again. Words that you use have the potential to affect someone else for the rest of the their life. By that same token, words spoken to you as a child whether they be harsh or beautiful often become the soundtrack playing on a loop in your head. Over time that soundtrack becomes your own internal dialogue.
“Choose your words carefully; they have the power to change lives…including your own.”
I was listening to a podcast on the way to work this morning where it was stated that one of the biggest things that holds each and every one of us back from taking risks and reaching our potential is our inner child; or more specifically the behaviors and thoughts that we have internally constructed to protect our inner child from further harm.
And I can say that probably 80% of the harm done to my inner child was verbal in nature, so I can attest to the negative and lasting affects of words on one’s psyche. Here’s the thing though, all of that can be changed. Through being mindful of the words we use and making a conscious decision to eliminate those that are negative, each and every one of us can radically change our inner dialogue.
Typically our inner dialogue was put in place by someone else when we were very young. It may have been done inadvertently or intentionally. In either case, if it is negative it is simply wrong. You are listening to a faulty soundtrack. This is why we need to take care with not only what we say to others, but to ourselves as well. We need to stop feeding the negativity and work on changing our inner dialogue. We need to work on speaking to ourselves with the same kindness with which we speak to others. But how do we do that?
- First, we need to pay attention to what our inner dialogue is…is it negative? From where does it originate? Is the negativity yours or did it originate with someone in your past? Is there any evidence at all that proves it to be true?
- Stop the negative thoughts in their tracks. If you really pay attention to the thoughts roaming around in your brain, you can cut off the negativity when it begins. Question it, don’t accept it at face value. For example, “I’m not smart enough to do the thing I want to do (insert whatever your “thing” is here).” Think about it…Why do you think you aren’t smart enough? What evidence is there to back up that assumption? I’m pretty sure the answer will be none.
- Once you’ve questioned the negativity and found it lacking in substance, replace it with a positive thought. This may sound trite, but speaking for myself, if you do this often enough eventually it will stick. For example, if you make a mistake, instead of immediately defaulting to “I’m a total idiot,” try saying to yourself, “I’m smart, what can I learn from this so that I can do it differently next time?” At first it might feel forced or fake, but do it often enough and it will become second nature.
- Focus on the moment that you are in. Oftentimes negative dialogue focuses on the past…”I’ve always been stupid,” or the future…”I’ll never be smart enough to be able to do that.” Focusing your attention on the here and now helps to subdue those thoughts.
- I’m a huge fan of positive affirmations/quotes. They might not be everyone’s thing, but for years I have found them to be helpful. I have a “Quotes” Pinterest board as well as a collection of quotes that I’ve saved on Instagram. I write my favorites in my planner/journal, and also have stickers with quotes that I love throughout the pages. I often peruse them and read my favorites out loud to myself.
THE OUTFIT
Today’s outfit tells the story of a summer dress that spans the seasons. I first wore this super vibrant boho maxi dress when we were on vacation in Key West this past summer. I actually purchased it from Amazon specifically for vacation, and it was as perfect as I had hoped it would be. I knew then that it would work throughout the winter layered under a slouchy pullover sweater or cardigan, which is what I’ve done here. On a side note, if you look back at the summer photos, there are long tassel ties at the waistline on both sides of the dress. I ultimately ended up cutting them off because they had no function other than to get insanely tangled in the wash…even on the gentle cycle…other than those annoying ties, it’s the perfect boho maxi dress.
As with most dresses, this one was super easy to transition to cold weather wear. I simply layered leggings and over the knee boots underneath and a slouchy cozy pullover sweater on top. I finished it off with my pink faux fur jacket and just like that, my favorite summer dress was totally winter-ready.
THE TIP
Your favorite summer maxi dresses can easily become year ’round staples. With the quick and easy addition of layers; both over and under, a sweet summer boho maxi dress can easily become cold weather appropriate. My favorite over top layer is a slouchy sweater…the just right slouchy sweater not only keeps you warm, but it also adds the perfect nonchalant cool “I really didn’t try too hard” vibe.
THE LINK UPS
Check out the weekly link ups I participate in for even more fashion and style ideas…
Dress: Amazon; Sweater: Aerie (Similar); Boots: Amazon; Coat: JCPenney (Similar)
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