I posted a Reel on Instagram yesterday & honestly I wasn’t sure what the reaction was going to be because it was some tough love with no sugarcoating. Ya’ll know I don’t do sugarcoating & that’s not something everybody loves, HOWEVER…
HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE
It must have REALLY resonated with people because that single Reel has so far gotten many thousands more views + more saves & shares than anything I’ve ever posted in the history of me posting on Insta. And it was just me riffing freestyle on how I strongly believe that happiness is a choice.
Yep, I said what I said. Happiness. Is. A. Choice.
Every single one of us has the power within us to decide that we’re going to be happy each & every day.
I don’t mean that jumping up & down squealing (and peeing a little in your pants) while throwing confetti in the air kinda happy. While that’s fun for sure, it’s not a sustainable state of being. I’m talking about that contented soul-deep peace that comes from recognizing & appreciating what is beautiful in your world as opposed to bitching all the time about how much everything sucks. The happiness that comes from really seeing the good that’s right there in front of you.
BUT WHAT ABOUT THE REALLY BAD STUFF THOUGH?
Even though the Instagram post really blew up, I know for sure there are naysayers out there as well as people who would be triggered by what I said. People who are or who have been in unimaginably bad situations that they weren’t responsible for. People who have had awful things happen to them that they never asked for. Who am I to tell them “happiness is a choice”?
Listen my friends, I’m not just talking out my ass here. I know it because I’m living it. Right now. In real time.
I can’t share many details because even though I’m very much stuck in it, it’s not fully my story to tell, at least not yet. The situation is dark, heavy & heartbreaking. It’s something that I have to live with & be surrounded by every day. Unfortunately though at this point in time, due to circumstances beyond my control I cannot do anything to change said situation. So for now I’m just doing what I gotta do.
I tell you this not for pity or sympathy. Playing the victim card is for sure not my jam. I tell you this because I get it. I get how exhausting it is to try & keep your head above water & maintain your own sanity. I get how hard it is to sometimes feel like you’re trapped with no way out. I fucking get it my friend.
And yes, I could so very easily just say screw it & get sucked down into the abyss. I could give up & simply decide this is just how it is. Ya, that ain’t gonna happen.
I’ve been through the darkness many times before so I know that this too shall pass. And even though I always came out a stronger, better version of myself on the other side of it, I also always got sucked into the darkness. Not this time though.
What’s different this time? I’m different. And…I know the secret. Happiness is a choice that I get to make every single day. And no one can take that away from me.
BUT HOW DO YOU CHOOSE HAPPINESS?
It’s not always easy & it takes conscious effort on your part. You have to be willing to do the work. But guess what? It’s like any new skill & after you practice it & do the hard work for awhile it becomes effortless. You’ll do it without even thinking.
- As soon as you wake up, before you even get out of bed, get your mind right. I don’t know about you, but I have a squirrel brain & as soon as I wake up my thoughts take off in a thousand directions & not all of them are good ones. It’s crucial to corral those squirrels immediately. Count backwards 5-4-3-2-1, take a few slow deep breaths & think about at least one thing that you’re excited about for the day. Even if it’s something small like the hot cup of coffee your about to have. Find something to focus on that you feel good about. Starting your day on a positive note, makes even the deepest shit easier to dig through.
- Take some quiet time for yourself by yourself before you start getting ready for your day. Even though I’m no longer working an 8-3 job, I make it a point to get up by 7:00 every day. I do this because no one else is up. It’s just me, my dogs & my thoughts. I take my coffee to my personal space in the house, light some candles & maybe pull an oracle card or do some journaling. Whatever it is I feel drawn to on any particular morning. I take some time to think about all of the good things I’ve got going for me in the present & actively visualize the even better future that I’m working towards. It might not look the same for you, but I highly recommend taking at least a few minutes for yourself in the morning doing something that makes you feel peaceful, content & happy.
- Actively be on the lookout for things that make you smile throughout your day. It can be anything. From a bald eagle soaring over the lake as I drive by, to having a laugh with my coworkers at the salon, Spring flowers blooming, or Starbucks getting my blonde vanilla latte exactly right. The point is, pay attention. Little nuggets of happiness are always there just waiting for you to see them. Snatch ’em up & take in all of the juicy joy they have to offer.
- Plan things that make you happy. That girlfriend you haven’t seen in ages? Schedule a lunch date. That place you’ve always thought would be fun to visit? Plan a road trip. That book you’ve been wanting to read? Make the time to read it. Your inner child LOVES having things to look forward to so oblige her.
- Don’t allow yourself to be sucked into the negativity of others. Whether that means leaving the room or leaving the state, distance yourself. Do not just passively absorb someone else’s ugliness. You might be temporarily stuck in a not so great situation or with not so great people, but how you choose to respond to it is entirely up to you. Misery loves company…do not be their company.
- Stop looking outside of yourself for happiness. You’re responsible for you. Let me say that one more time. You. Are. Responsible. For. You. Counting on others to make you happy makes you dependent. It makes you a victim of their whims. And besides, if your happiness is dependent upon someone or something else, it isn’t real happiness anyway. You have to determine what it is that makes you happy & then you have to go after it. You have to make it happen. You have to make yourself the priority & do the work.
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