It’s perfectly okay to feel all the feels, even when they aren’t necessarily positive…
What Is Toxic Positivity?
…Since the pandemic started, and really even before that, positivity has become trendy. All you have to do is scroll social media for awhile & it becomes apparent. Positivity is literally everywhere. Positivity, or having a positive mindset is not at all a bad thing when it’s used in the right way. As a matter of fact I believe that a positive mindset is key to loving yourself & your life.
However, when you or others around you assume that no matter what emotional/mental pain you’re feeling or what struggles you’re going through you should “stay positive” or “look on the bright side” that’s when it morphs into toxic positivity. Negative emotions are viewed as “bad”. Your true authentic emotions are invalidated. When you feel the pressure, whether it be internal or external, to ignore or hide your true feelings behind faux positivity it can develop into an unhealthy situation. You feel as if something is wrong with you because you’re angry, hurt, jealous or sad.
THERE ARE NO “BAD” FEELINGS
The thing is, there are no inherently bad feelings. They are just that…feelings. Women are hardwired to be more attuned to how their own behaviors, thoughts & feelings affect those around them so it is easy to fall into the positivity trap. Negative emotions can make others feel uncomfortable so we suppress them. And that my friend, simply will not do.
You are absolutely entitled to your feelings. Every single one of them. You have every right to feel all the feels. The good, the bad & the ugly. But here is the key. Pay attention because it’s big. Acknowledge the feelings. Feel the feelings. Allow them to run their course. And then…pick yourself up, dust yourself off, solve the problem, get your ass back out there & find the joy in your life.
To sum it up:
- Toxic positivity happens when being positive is viewed as the only way to be at the expense of all other emotions
- Avoid toxic positivity whether it be from outside sources or your own thought patterns.
- Acknowledge all of your feelings & actually work through them.
- Don’t get stuck forever in a negative mindset. Once the problem is solved, move on.
- Just as forcing positivity is unhealthy, so is hanging on to negativity. When the time is right, let it go.
- Find the things that bring you joy to help reset yourself to a more positive mindset.
- Make positivity your goal, but allow yourself the space to feel the full range of emotions.
THE OUTFIT
I will forever remember this skirt as “the last thing I bought before the world shut down”. The week of March 13th I happened upon this pretty little tie dye chiffon skirt at JCPenney & was in love. I couldn’t wait to wear it to school & then within a few days school was no more. So you can imagine how excited I was to finally bust it out & take it for a spin.
Once boot weather hit, I was reminded that I was severely lacking in the the mid-height boot category. I had actually been wanting some perfectly slouchy boots since last boot season, but hadn’t found the perfect pair. I was so pumped when I stumbled upon this Journee Collection pair because they were exactly what I’d been looking for. In light of that, I nabbed them in black and gray as well.
I talk more about it below in the tip section, but I added the denim vest to give this outfit a lil’ hit of visual interest. The mix of textures & layers just makes the whole look more fun.
THE TIP
The addition of one simple piece, in this case the vest, can make all the difference in an outfit. Yes, the top & skirt are fine together, but who wants to be fine? Add the denim vest & boom…you’ve gotta pretty sweet look. The third piece rule never disappoints…What exactly is the third piece rule?
Your bottom is piece one, your top is piece two…the third piece is something that you add to give your look that little extra something to make it special. Good third pieces options include:
THE LINK UPS
Check out the weekly link ups I participate in for even more good reads & style ideas…
Skirt: JCPenney (Similar); Top: JCPenney (Similar); Boots: Journee Collection; Vest: Similar
