Bullying is one of those words that has gained a lot of traction in the last several years…
THE STORY
…And with good reason; it’s become a buzzword and a rallying cry. Oftentimes it is legitimately used. Bullying is real. Bullying does happen. And it isn’t just a childhood danger, it unfortunately happens in the adult world with startling regularity. Tragically, the current climate in our country has made it almost commonplace.
On the flip side, the word “bullying” has become so mainstream that it is just as often used improperly. It’s used as a weapon. It’s used as an excuse. It’s used when one doesn’t get their way. The actual definition of bullying is:
“unwanted, aggressive behavior that involves a real or perceived power imbalance…the behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated over time…bullying includes actions such as making threats, spreading rumors, attacking someone physically or verbally, and excluding someone from a group on purpose”
Most of us know bullying when we see it, and the definition is pretty cut and dried. Even so, the word is often used to describe behavior or situations that are in no way shape or form bullying. For example, not that long ago my daughter finished up her work in one of her classes and a classmate asked if she could “borrow” my daughter’s paper. Translation…she wanted to copy the work. My daughter politely (and no, I’m not delusional…my daughter is always polite and kind to people) responded no and turned in her work. The classmate burst into tears and went to the office to complain that my daughter was mean and was “bullying” her…because she refused to allow someone to cheat off of her work she was accused of being a bully. Nothing came of it because it was complete and utter nonsense, but do you see what I’m getting at?
I once had a student tell me she was being bullied because another student wouldn’t lend her a pencil. I’m sorry friends, but if someone doesn’t want to lend you a writing utensil or if they would like to sit with someone else at lunch, or they won’t let you copy their work, that does not constitute bullying.
The real danger here lies in the abuse of powerful words like bullying. It takes away some of its power, some of its legitimacy. I have seen victims of real legitimate vicious bullying; the tears, the broken hearts, the devastation. To take a word that gives a name to actions that cause real, raw and lasting damage to the psyche of another human being in order cover up one’s own inadequacies or to play the victim is unconscionable. In the world in which we currently live, it’s more important than ever to choose our words carefully.
THE OUTFIT
I love nothing better than to pair something girly with pieces that are badass-y and/or tomboyish. Hence the pairing of this beautiful floaty floral maxi dress gifted to me by eShakti with my combat boots and moto jacket. It’s the best of both worlds.
The dress came with the studded ribbon belt that I’m wearing with it. I originally had my western double buckle belt on (and it looked pretty cool as well), but ultimately went with the ribbon belt because it was fun. I tied it so that it hung down the back instead of the front for a slightly different look. Usually I don’t care for the belts that come with dresses or pants, but this one is pretty fabulous. I think it will also look cute with one of my many pairs of distressed jeans.
The truly great thing about eShakti is that you can order their pieces custom made to fit your measurements like I did with this dress. Normally I can’t buy a maxi dress off the rack because they aren’t made for elfin-sized girls like myself. Having the dress custom made took care of that issue as the dress hits exactly where I wanted it to. Since I went with shorter sleeves it will work all the way into Spring and early Summer, and I can layer it over a turtleneck or under a sweater during the Winter.
THE TIP
Consider trying custom made clothing, especially if you’re a difficult size i.e. petite, tall, busty, etc. Having a piece made specifically for your body type can make all the difference.
THE LINK UPS
Check out the weekly link ups I participate in for even more fashion and style ideas…
Dress: c/o eShakti (Similar); Jacket: Blank NYC (Similar); Boots: Nordstrom
