I think that I am more excited about this particular post than any other post I’ve ever done…
THE STORY
…Why is that? It’s because today I have the privilege of sharing with you a very special group of women. Today is Forever Fierce Day 2018, and while I have had the privilege to be involved with the Forever Fierce movement since its inception, this campaign is different. Our previous campaigns have involved working with other bloggers which was a truly fabulous opportunity for all of us. I met and got to know other outstanding women that otherwise I wouldn’t have had the chance to meet. Through working together we started a movement that shines a spotlight on the fact that getting older does not mean fading into obscurity. It means getting better, bolder, fiercer. We, as one voice, are putting the world the world on notice.
This year our beautiful leader Catherine came up with the idea for us to feature non-blogging midlife women; women who are also fierce, but don’t have a platform from which to share their special brand of awesome with the world. I immediately decided that the women I would share would all be women whom I consider friends; women who I consider to be part of my own little fierce tribe.
Some of them I’ve met through social media, some are newer friends, some know all of my deepest darkest secrets (and if they don’t I’d trust them with them), some I spend most of my entire days with, some I want to get to know better and some have been part of my life for so many years that I’ve lost count. What do they all have in common? That would be their undeniable fierceness. And the respect, admiration and love I have for each one of them.
The question posed to each was “What does being fierce in midlife mean to you?” The answers that you read below are beautiful…enlightening…unique…but with one common thread. Empowerment. To me, each and every one of these beautiful women personifies exactly what it means to be fierce in midlife. Brave. Bold. Loving. Living. Kicking ass and taking names.
Being fierce in midlife means taking the lessons learned in my younger years and putting them to work for me; using those lessons to become a better, stronger, fiercer version of who I used to be. The joys, the triumphs, the tears and the pain have all shaped me into the woman that I am proud to be today. I know who I am, I know what I believe in and I’m not afraid to use my voice. I express who I’ve become through my style, my opinions and how I choose to live my life. I will not conform to society’s expectations of who I should be, how I should act or how I should dress. The only expectations that matter are my own.
Fiona, age 48, Billings, MT @3figgypuddings
Who am I? In a nutshell, I am a well traveled, highly educated, artsy-fartsy geek. I am a quirky (read: weird), spacy (ADHD), avid bibliophile, with a tendency to be emotional. I homeschool 2 girls and my son just flew the coop this past year. After several years of debilitating illness, and being diagnosed with Sjögrens Syndrome, my husband of two decades walked out on me and our 3 children. It was the worst thing and the best thing that could have ever happened to me. I decided to show my children what strength is…that together we could handle this. In the process, I met the man of my dreams and we have a built an amazing life together.As I approach the end of my 40s, I realize that two things stand out as core beliefs. 1) Remain true to who you are, no matter your age. Age does not define you.And (2) recognise the joy in the everyday…find happiness in the mundane. Life is hard. Lets face it…most days are filled with boring, unpleasant tasks. But I dance while I do dishes.I guess that kind of weirdly sums me up. I dance while I do the dishes.
They say Time flies when you are having fun. Time flies regardless so why not make the best of it.
I’m amazed to think how fast decades have flown by. What amazes me more is what each decade can teach you and how throughout the journey you truly are, living the best days of your life.
My twenties were filled with vibrant youth but at the same time its filled with ignorance of self-worth. Most women, like myself live their 20’s in constant war with physical appearance and what needs changed. It is not until later in life that you are able to admire the beauty of those years.
My thirties taught me independence. I found myself divorced and on my own for the very first time in my life. I had two beautiful children depending on me. I needed to do this. Independence should be a requirement in life. It is such an empowering lesson.
My forties brought me love like I’ve never felt before. That was the decade I fell in love with Jesus. This is the decade I learned to love myself. I watched love bloom all around me. My daughter fell in love with her now husband. My son fell in love with his partner. I found myself in a biracial relationship and happier than I’ve ever been. I learned that l am an advocate for Love no matter how Love finds you.
In my fifties I learned to be unapologetic. I am confident in who I am regardless of your beliefs. I stand firm in mine. I would not have changed a thing. I would not give up the wisdom my years have taught me to return to the days of my youth. There is power in knowledge. There is fierceness in your fifties. It is the time in your life when you gain comfort in your own skin, when you can finally stand back and say I like who I am.
For me, Being Fierce in Midlife is being able to accept and love yourself unconditionally. A woman that doesn’t take herself too seriously, that embraces her natural beauty and radiates confidence is a sight to behold.
A year and a half of chronic pain while transitioning to grey hair was an emotional journey for me. It was a time of soul searching and reinventing myself in mind, body and spirit. I learned about self love which gave me the courage to ignore the opinions of others while gaining a new perspective of living life. I embraced new adventures by stepping out of my comfort zone. That confidence gave me the opportunity to reflect my youthful spirit through my sense of style. Strangers of all ages were approaching me inspired by my grey hair and lighthearted fashion. Encouraging women to become empowered and embrace their natural beauty became my new purpose in life.
Being fierce in midlife is becoming the person you always desired to be; and with age, just keeps getting better.
Heidi, age 46 , Evans City, PA @madameheidic
To me, clothing is art. Just like music or painting, it expresses what is inside your soul. Being fierce in midlife is all about simply being ME. I have never, ever completely fit into a group of people, as I am attracted to so many different people. This is very representative of my style and what makes me feel fierce: one day I’m a pearl choker and little black dress girl, and the next you can find me in my Doc Martens from my 90’s grunge college years mixed with ripped jeans, simple white tee and fur vest. I do NOT believe that a woman has to dress her age…if a woman, no matter what age, is expressing herself in clothes that make her feel amazing…that to me is fierce. That to me is freedom. And do you know what is always fierce??? Leopard print. A little…or a lot.
Tracey, age 48 , Sharpsville, PA
My interpretation of being fierce in midlife is to feel a sense of empowerment. As I am nearing the end of my 40’s, I’m a firm believer that with age comes wisdom. Life is comprised of nothing but moments. Whether the moments are good or bad, happy or sad, I have found that they continue to serve me with a wealth of knowledge and experience.
Being fierce in midlife has confirmed that age does not define who we are. Who we are is based on our how we act or react to the moments around us and what we choose to do with each and every one of them. Being fierce in midlife means that I have learned to accept the fact that life comes at me fast. As time goes on, life as I know it changes, quickly. My children will grow up, graduate and move on to the next phase in their lives, and it’s okay. It wasn’t my job to keep them forever, it was my job to raise them to become decent human beings that will be loving, compassionate and productive members of society. As hard as it is to accept, both of my parents have passed away. There will forever be a void in my life. I struggle with this thought daily, but I have learned to use my knowledge, wisdom and experience to process my sadness in a healthy way to preserve their memory and savor the moments.
Being fierce in midlife means that you will find that friend, that one friend that makes all the difference in the world. That person that you truly and genuinely cherish and don’t know how you ever lived without her. I credit my sense of empowerment, my knowledge, my wisdom and my experiences to being fierce and handling everything life throws my way with grace and dignity…embracing change, through midlife and beyond.
Heidi, age 49, Sharpsville, PA
What does being fierce in midlife mean to me?
“Fierce in midlife” means finally learning to love myself. I’ve heard that phrase throughout my life, and frankly, it always sounded a little trite and hokey to me. But the past year and a half has been hard, and I have felt, at times, that I had only myself to rely on. I needed to trust and love myself, but had to learn how.
The first step has been to unlearn a number of bad habits:
I needed to stop apologizing when I’ve done nothing wrong, or for simply having an opinion.
Stop saying yes when I actually meant no.
Stop needing to fit into the same size jeans I wore in college.
Stop overthinking Every. Single. Thing.
Stop feeling guilty for my failed marriage and parenting mistakes.
The first half of my life was beautiful, but so much time was wasted by second-guessing, blaming, and criticizing myself. Now is the perfect time to finally begin fiercely loving myself.
Angie, age 44, Zelionople, PA @boutique16063
I am honored to be asked about my fierceness! To be honest most days I would describe myself as fumbling, not fierce. But it forced me to take a look at me. I have been in the fashion business for over 24 years and I still love what I do.My children bring me such joy and fill my heart.My family continues to grow.My husband is gorgeous, hard-working, loving and loyal.My family is priceless and my dogs are amazing. I learn something from my fierce friends everyday.What makes me fierce is that I honestly want exactly what I have. I wish for nothing more. I am far more comfortable in this body and mind than I ever was and that firm, wild, 24 your old body I once lived in.We are all fierce and we all have the obligation to pass it on.
