How often do you think about your habits?
WHAT ARE HABITS?
I’m guessing you don’t think about them very often because well, they’re…habits; all the things that we do on automatically on auto pilot without thinking about them. We don’t think, we just do.
So much of what we do every single day is habit even if we don’t realize it. Habits are simply learned behaviors that develop over time to free up our brains to focus on more important things. The obvious ones are things like showering, brushing our teeth, grabbing that first cup of coffee after waking up in the morning, the order in which we put our clothes on, the route we drive to work every day…you get the idea. All of the routines that we regularly engage in daily without thought are habits. Habits can be good, bad or neutral, but the one thing they all have in common is that we do them without (or with very little) conscious thought.
You might be thinking, “Ok, what’s the big deal? This is all common sense.” Which leads to the point…
HOW YOUR HABITS DEFINE YOU
In addition to the obvious kind of habits that I mentioned above, there are about a zillion other unconscious behaviors that we carry out daily. These are the habits that build and/or reinforce our self-image without us even realizing it. This is how your habits define you. Many of our most deeply ingrained habits are tightly entwined with our sense of self. They feed off of one another in a continuous loop. In the book Atomic Habits James Clear says, “The more you repeat a behavior, the more you reinforce the identity associated with that behavior. And the more you reinforce the identity, the more natural it will feel to repeat the behavior.”
Typically the things that you do regularly reflects the kind of person that you believe yourself to be whether those beliefs are accurate or not. For example, if you believe yourself to be a healthy person then eating right & exercising is probably second nature to you. You do those things without thinking because that is who you believe yourself to be. Or if you believe yourself to be unlikeable or unworthy then keeping yourself small, quiet & in the background is just something that you do automatically. Do you see how your habits & self beliefs are intertwined?
The more you have bought into a given characteristic of your self-image, the more likely you are to develop habits that support your belief.
This obviously can be a very good thing or a very challenging thing depending on what the belief/habit is. That’s why it’s so important when you decide that you want to evolve & grow into the best version of yourself that you have your habits in alignment with that future version of you. Before changing your habits you need to have a clear picture of the type of person you want to become so that any changes you do make are tied to your identity.
Developing new habits or eliminating old less desirable ones isn’t about what you have to do, it’s about who you want to become. You need to figure out who the type of person is that would have the thing that you want.
Say for example you want to start dressing in a way that reflects your unique self. Instead of thinking “I need to throw away everything in my closet & buy all new things.” think “What would a woman who has a solid sense of her personal style do?”. Or if your goal is to get healthier, instead of thinking “I’m going to stop eating junk food.” think “What would a healthy woman do?” Your focus always needs to be on becoming that person, not on the specific result of a habit.
Once you have a solid idea of who you want to become, then you can start focusing on the little habits that will define you as that type of woman. Keep in mind this is a process & it will take time. You might not even notice the shift in your identity for weeks or even months, but if you continue building your daily habits based on the who, you’re providing yourself with the evidence of the new evolved you. Given enough time, your habits & identity will be in alignment & you will simply be the best version of yourself.
If you would love to dive more deeply with me into aligning your self-image & your habits to create the best most badass version of you AND your life then schedule a call & let’s get started!
THE LINK UPS
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