The definition of “-ism” according to Merriam-Webster is “an oppressive and especially discriminatory attitude or belief” Recently a new -ism occurred to me. It’s actually a perception that’s been around forever, and since it doesn’t have a specific name, I made up my own name for it…
THE STORY
…And that name is bitchism. What exactly is bitchism? It is the belief that if a woman has the audacity to not only have an opinion, but to actually give voice to her opinion, especially if it’s unpopular or goes against long standing beliefs, then she is a bitch. If a woman is bold enough to stand up for herself, the same judgement applies. Bitchism covers feelings as well. If a woman shares her feelings in regard to a particular situation and those feelings cause someone else to have to acknowledge their own errors or inadequacies then she is, you guessed it, a bitch.
The sad thing is, women are just as guilty of bitchism as men. How many times over the course of your life have you heard one woman say about another, “Oh, she’s a bitch!” for no reason other then the expression of an opinion? It’s for that reason I don’t feel that it’s one of those behaviors that can be lumped under sexism…bitchism is an equal opportunity -ism.
The reason this has been kicking around in my brain is that my girlfriend and I were recently discussing the perception a few people that we know have of me. Ironically several of the individuals in question do not know me at all. Sure, they know who I am, but they don’t know me. They know that they don’t like my feelings in regard to certain situations involving all of us and therefore, I’m a bitch.
If I see something happening that’s unfair or that I believe is wrong, I will speak up. And oftentimes, because I speak up, again I’m a bitch. Put a man in that same scenario though and he’s bold…he’s brave…he’s outspoken…he’s a leader. Sadly this particular belief system is still alive and well.
Unfortunately it’s also sometimes used as a weapon to keep women silent. For many women, the opinions that others have of them really matter and that drives their behavior. They will quash their own opinions to avoid being demeaned, to avoid being called a bitch for doing nothing more than speaking up.
We need to start doing better. As women and as a society. We need to stop judging one another based solely on conflicting opinions and feelings. We need to support other females when they are giving their opinions a voice. And maybe we need to get honest with ourselves and start looking inward if our first response to another woman’s opinion is, “Oh, she’s a bitch”…
THE OUTFIT
Few things say “fall” quite like a plaid flannel shirt. To me, they conjure up images of walks in the woods, bonfires, hot chocolate and general coziness. This one in particular, with it’s shades of mustard yellow, sienna, burgundy and navy blue has all the fall feels. They make the perfect layering piece too; both over and under other things like I did today.
Another easy basic layering piece is a lace cami. Most of the camis I own are satiny, but this one is a rich burnout velvet in shades that make it perfect for fall and winter. Bonus points because the floral print added a print mix element with the plaid flannel shirt.
It’s been quite awhile since my Tomgirl jeans have made an appearance on the blog even though they’re pretty much all that I wear when I’m off duty. I know that shredded denim isn’t everyone’s favorite, but it’s definitely mine; I have to dig pretty deep into the closet to find my one or two pairs that are rip free. I finished things off with my fringe wedge ankle booties. The fringe went well with the vibe of the outfit and a wedge heel gives you the added height without any of the discomfort.
THE TIP
They key to early fall dressing is multiple layers. The mornings might start out chilly, but by afternoon it can be in the 70’s or 80’s so wearing pieces that you can easily remove is important. Also important is that as each layer is removed what is underneath needs to be able to stand on it’s own as an outfit yet still work with the temperature.
For example the outfit that I’m wearing today…had I only been wearing the cami under the cardigan without the plaid flannel shirt it wouldn’t have worked. Yes, it would have still been a cute look, however when it got too warm for the sweater I wouldn’t have been able to remove it because it was still too cool to go with a cami only.
THE LINK UPS
Check out the weekly link ups I participate in for even more fashion and style ideas…
Shirt: American Eagle (Similar); Cami: JCPenney (Similar); Jeans: American Eagle; Boots: JCPenney (Similar)
