We have a running joke in our family that if there is a flying stinging insect anywhere within a 100 mile radius it will find me…
THE STORY
…And not only find me, but aggressively come after me~hornets, wasps, bees~you name it, they’ll hunt me down. It’s been an issue since childhood. I’m not sure why this is; my husband used to have a theory that it was my personal concoction of fragrance that I wear. That has been disproved time and again, as my stinger-armed assailants will often come after me when I’m wearing no fragrance at all, and as I said, it started when I was little.
Perhaps you might be thinking that I’m simply paranoid, but here’s an example for you. A few years ago we were having an outdoor get together. I was talking with several people when out of nowhere, a particularly angry striped beast dropped from the sky, latched onto my cheekbone, stung me and bolted; an angry insect drive-by if you will. I ended up with a black eye due to the massive facial swelling that ensued. See what I mean…unprovoked, no flailing since I didn’t see it coming and there were like four other people it could have chosen from in the direct vicinity.
In any case, I have a deep-rooted overwhelming fear of flying insects, particularly of the biting variety. The other night the bulldog started barking in the kitchen. Not his bored or I want outside bark. No, this was his angry I am going to take you down bark. When I went into the kitchen, there he was faux-hawk up barking at the kitchen light. When I caught sight of what he was barking at I simultaneously gasped and fell back into the counter. I got my act back together and like a flash got my fur babies out of the kitchen while never once taking my eye off of the light.
Now, do I need to tell you that any flying insect large enough to put a bulldog on high alert is a huge freakin’ problem? Hanging from the edge of the kitchen light is this striped hornet that at first glance I truly thought was two or three hornets either engaged in a weird hornet orgy or perhaps two of them beating up on a third. But noooo…this was one single ginormous hornet the likes of which I have never seen in my life. This thing was damn near an inch and a half long. I knew that there was no way that I could hit it and kill it, so I grabbed the nearest weapon I could think of…Windex. While that choice was born out of panic, there was a method to my madness. I figured if I doused him, he would fall, thus enabling me to crush him.
So I aimed and fired. Yep, I hit him, but not enough to take him down. The evil (and now pissed off) beast came after me; he didn’t just fly my direction, no, he was out to take me down. I let out a scream of terror like I don’t think I ever have in my entire life…I’m dodging, running and spraying Windex everywhere. Apparently I got him wet enough because he went down. Did he run away? Nope. He literally ran towards me. Still screaming and dropping a string of f-bombs (which btw, have no effect on angry hornets) I grabbed a plastic bowl and trapped him. I kept him there until he was well and fully asphyxiated by Windex fumes. In his post-mortem curled up form he was literally the width of a quarter, so when I said he was an inch and a half long I wasn’t kidding.
I did some research and apparently this winged horror was something called a European Hornet. They have actually been here since the 1800’s, but this was my first run-in with one. You guys, not only is this hornet the largest in North America, they are carnivores. WTH?? A hornet so badass that it eats meat??? I can’t even. And of course this hellish aberration ends up in my kitchen with mayhem on it’s mind. I have no logical explanation for it. Perhaps in a previous life I was a queen bee…
THE OUTFIT
If I could own every single thing that Z Supply produces, I would. Relaxed casual with a heavy dose of camo is their vibe so you can understand why I love their stuff so much. I can assure you that there will be plenty of Z Supply on my Christmas list this year. I’ve had this Z Supply camo dress for quite awhile, but somehow it hasn’t made the blog until now and it was high time to remedy that.
I realize that the seasons have turned enough that now the dress would require either a cardi on top of a tee/turtleneck layered underneath, but I wanted to share this look from last month when there were still fairly sweltering days happening on the regular. That’s the great thing about this dress~it’s multi-seasonal. It’s loose and lightweight enough (even though it’s a light sweatshirt material) to work in the heat, but it also works as the perfect layering piece in cold weather. Simply swap out the cage ankle booties for over the knee boots and/or tights, add a cozy cardigan on top and it’s perfect for colder weather. PS…it also has pockets! Love me some pockets on a dress or skirt.
When I wore this, the mornings were cooler so I layered the denim vest over top. That also served to give the dress some shape since it’s more of a swing/tunic cut. It wasn’t absolutely necessary though because the softness of the material allows it lay in a flattering way even without the vest.
THE TIP
If you feel like the volume of a dress or top is a little too overwhelming add a vest of blazer over top to quickly and easily nip it in a little bit.
THE LINK UPS
Check out the weekly link ups I participate in for even more fashion and style ideas…
Dress: Z Supply via Boutique 16083; Booties: JCPenney (Similar); Vest: Old Navy (Similar)
