Do you remember when you were a kid and the only thing that you wanted to be was a “grown up”…
THE STORY
…When we’re young, all that we see is the fun exciting side of being an adult; no one telling us “no”, going to bed whenever we feel like it, hanging out with whomever we please, the option of inhaling an entire package of Oreos in one sitting if we so desire. Ahhh…if only being an adult were that simple.
The reality is that there are jobs to get, bills to pay, spouses to learn to live with, children to raise and a plethora of other problems to deal with at any given time. That’s the thing, when we’re kids no one tells us (and if they did, we didn’t listen) that when you are the adult you are the one in charge. And not necessarily in the fun “I’m eatin’ all the damn Oreos” kind of way. More in the “there’s no one else to do the hard stuff for you” kind of way. The hard stuff is your problem. The tough decisions are yours to make. There won’t be anyone swooping in to take care of it for you.
One would think that after 53 years on this Earth I would have that figured out. I mean seriously, over the course of my lifetime I have been through some shit. In order to survive, I was forced into being an “adult” before I was even a teenager. Even so, there were still grown ups around to handle the bigger scarier details. I often say that I have the sense of humor of a 12 year old boy, and that is true, but also I oftentimes still have the mental maturity of a teenager, especially when difficult situations arise. Don’t get me wrong, the teenager in my brain can be a whole lot of fun, the problem is she’s also the master of avoiding anything that might prove to be painful.
It’s definitely one of my less than fabulous qualities, but it is what it is. Years ago I read an outstanding book called Motherless Daughters. It’s a must-read for any woman who has lost her mother at any age, but it’s particularly informative for those of us who lost our mothers at a young age. The author explains that often when a girl loses her mother as a child, her personality development sort of “freezes” at the age of the loss. That part really resonated with me because I lost my mom when I was just 17 and as I said, I tend to revert to a teenage state of mind when things get tough.
Since my father died at the end of April there has been all manner of ugly difficult nastiness that I’ve had to deal with and unfortunately it won’t be ending anytime soon. At every turn I have wanted to just hide away and ignore it all; maybe it would all go away or perhaps a “grown up” would magically appear and take care of it for me. Alas, hiding is not an option nor is there a grown up coming to save the day or protect me from it all; because whether I like it or not, I am the grown up. I have to do the nasty stuff myself. The only way around it is through it. Adulting is hard my friends.
My hope is that when it’s all said and done, the teenager in me will still know how to have fun, but she will have matured a little bit. Perhaps she’ll be less of an avoider. Perhaps she’ll more readily be able to have the difficult conversations. Perhaps she’ll finally understand that the only one who will save her is herself.
THE OUTFIT
Every once in awhile, I have to throw you guys a curve ball. This outfit is that curve ball. It’s not professional in the traditional sense of professional work wear, but it is professional for me.
Obviously, the skirt that I found on the clearance rack at Target is the centerpiece of this look. I mean seriously, how cute is the ruffly flouncy hemline along with the gingham print? With my red heels and the high low ruffle, I kinda felt like a flamenco dancer turned middle school teacher. I thought some print mix was in order too, hence the striped top. I have no doubt that you’ll be seeing this skirt again over the course of the summer, but it will probably be on the more casual side with some sneakers and a graphic tee.
THE TIP
Even if you have a fully developed personal style, every once in awhile it’s fun to think outside of the box. Try something different that you wouldn’t normally wear. After all, it’s only fashion…try new things, have fun with it…and if you don’t like it? Tomorrow’s another day.
THE LINK UPS
Check out the weekly link ups I participate in for even more fashion and style ideas…
Skirt: Target (Similar); Shoes: JCPenney; Shirt: Walmart (Similar)
