Listen up friend…it’s time to STOP talking shit on yourself right now. Yes, right this second. Knock it off. It seriously might be the single most powerful thing you can do for yourself, and here’s why…
IT’S TIME TO STOP THE NEGATIVE SELF-TALK
How you speak to yourself, whether it’s thoughts in your head or out loud to others impacts you so much more than you probably realize. Your self-talk gives the world a sneak peek into exactly how you view yourself. More importantly, it affects your emotional well-being, your confidence & your self-image.
And since your self-image shows up in your relationships, your health, the jobs you choose, the money you make, the amount of joy you experience, the opportunities that come your way & how other people treat you, I’d say it’s pretty damned important to make sure you have a healthy & positive self-image. And that ain’t gonna happen if you make a regular habit of being your own biggest bully.
STOPPING NEGATIVE SELF-TALK ISN’T EASY
Humans’ brains are naturally wired with something called “negativity bias”. Simply put, our brains seek out negativity to keep us safe. Makes sense from an evolutionary perspective when danger was lurking everywhere & it was the job of our brain to prevent us from becoming dinner. Since danger (which is obviously negative) was everywhere the human brain was constantly scanning everything in the environment looking for it.
Even though we’re now more likely to be scanning the environment for dinner as opposed to becoming dinner, our brains still by default fixate on all that is negative. And that includes what we perceive to be negative about ourselves. I’m sure it’s no surprise that research has shown negative self-talk is way more prevalent among women than men.
The primary reason for that is we woman are socially conditioned from the time we exit the womb to be certain things i.e. pretty, submissive, polite, well-behaved, etc. We’re held to impossible (as well as outdated & ridiculous) standards that we can never hope to achieve. Nor should we have to. Unfortunately though, we internalize not only those standards, but also all of the negative thoughts & feelings that go along with not being “enough” because we don’t meet them.
It’s so challenging to stop the negative self-talk because over time being self-critical becomes a habit. And we all know what a bitch habits can be. Here’s the good news though. Even though breaking less than desirable habits is hard, it can be done. You just have to make it a priority & do the work.
Will you ever totally eliminate the negative self-talk from your life? No. We are human after all. But having the self-awareness & strategies to stop it in its tracks can make all the difference in the world when it comes to how you feel about yourself & your life.
HOW TO STOP THE NEGATIVE SELF-TALK
Here are some tips to get you started on stopping your own negative self-talk:
- Pay attention, I mean really pay attention, and stop it when it starts. Redirect your thoughts & your words before the negative statement has a chance to come out.
- Understand that thoughts & the feelings they produce aren’t always facts. Thoughts are nothing more than sentences in your head. That doesn’t make them accurate.
- Transition your thoughts from negative to neutral. Negative to positive is too much of a leap in the beginning & your brain will never buy into it. For example, instead of “I hate…” try “I don’t prefer…” instead.
- Call yourself out. Any time a negative thought about yourself pops up, question its accuracy. Examine it closely & really question the hell out of it. 99.9% of the time you’ll realize it’s a false narrative with zero basis in reality.
- Genuinely accept compliments & don’t downplay them. Make it a regular practice to see the good in yourself that others see.
Ready to make deep & lasting change in your life? In my 1 to 1 coaching program, You: Restyled, one of the things we’ll do together is a deep dive into learning how to eliminate the negative self-talk. You’ll learn to set your own standards for how you look, how you feel & how you choose to live your life. And isn’t that how it should be?
If you’re ready to shake shit up & go after the life & the you that you really want then why not schedule a consultation call?
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