Today’s post was originally going to be about my thoughts on the the “controversy” surrounding the gay character in the live action version of Beauty And The Beast (I’m sure you all can figure out what side of that I fall on), but that topic got bumped to another day because of something that happened in real life on Monday…
THE STORY
…I often say that I’m not a fan of people. That in and of itself isn’t exactly accurate. It’s not that I don’t like people, it’s that I don’t trust people. If I allow someone into my inner circle they have been seriously vetted; they have to prove themselves. No, that does not make me arrogant. Or bitchy. Or psychotic. That makes me selective. And self-protective. When one is raised by people who in no uncertain terms, cannot be trusted to not hurt you, one learns a plethora of protective devices to shield oneself from harm.
Until I was in my late 20’s I was quite the opposite; I allowed everyone in. It was like an over-correction to my distrust of people. I wanted to trust everyone. I wanted to believe everyone was inherently good. I wanted to believe that the people from which I came were the exception, not the rule. You can all guess how that worked out. I was crushed, beaten and bruised (metaphorically speaking) on a regular basis by acquaintances, coworkers and individuals who were posing as friends. Hence my rather strenuous vetting process.
I can and will chat up strangers out in the world…in line at the grocery store, at the mall, in the waiting room at the doctor. But if a stranger enters my realm, in the case of this story, my classroom, my natural reaction is to be cold and distant. Why the difference in reaction? Out in the world is neutral territory. It’s safe to be friendlier. If it doesn’t work out, who cares? It’s a brief interaction that will have no bearing on my life. But within my direct environment, whether it be my classroom, my home, or my social circle the ramifications of interactions can be major.
Therefore, it takes me quite some time to warm up to someone. Monday I had testing to do in the morning and therefore there was a sub to cover my classes. In a situation such as this, I have zero desire or need for idle chit chat. Upon my arrival I simply told her that she would be filling in for me just for the morning and then went about my business of getting ready for the day. When I left the room to do the testing, I told her the lesson plans and work she would need for the kids was on the desk. That was that. Was I friendly? Not particularly. I wasn’t there to make a new friend. Did I give one more thought to whether or not she liked me? Nope. I had a job to do and so did she; no more, no less.
Does this make me a bitch? No it does not. My behavior, right or wrong, (and please, do not presume to judge me) is an integral part of who my life experiences have made me. I could not and would not change it if I could. It has served me well and saved me countless heartaches over the years. And I have to say that the circle of friends I have surrounded myself with as a result of my self-protective behavior are a high quality group of women whom I would trust with my life.
Which leads me to what happened next. After I left the room, this woman proceeded to make a wildly inappropriate comment TO MY STUDENTS about her thoughts on me and my classroom. I’m not playin’ friends, that really happened. But wait…the fun isn’t over. At the end of the morning when she was done in my room, she then went elsewhere in the building and told one of my coworkers that I am a bitch; within earshot of kids. Remember the time I went after my blog troll?
Ya, well, real life trolls get the same treatment. I tracked her down. And called her out. And do you know what? A grown ass woman lied to my face. She claimed she never said a word about me which was unequivocally not true. Here’s the thing; do I care that this stranger thought I was a bitch? Nope, not one little bit. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. But do I care that she chose to vocalize her thoughts and spew her ugliness in my world? Absolutely.
The moral of this story is simple. If you encounter someone who is in your opinion, bitchy guarded, you have two choices. If you’re up to the challenge, attempt to get to know them better. If you’re not interested, then simply walk away. Do not take your nasty, and perhaps entirely mistaken opinion and throw it out into the world because you never know when karma is going to come a callin’.
THE OUTFIT
This is the teal version of the gray lace up hoodie I wore last week. It’s soft, lightweight and the perfect piece to layer now and then take you right into Summer. This was a pre-snowstorm day when all that was required for warmth was my long denim jacket which was the perfect topper to go with the cute casual vibe of the outfit.
I chose the nude pumps instead of black pumps or boots because, well, why not? Black would have been the easy choice, so nude it was. In my opinion they throw things off a little in just the right way.
THE TIP
Consider adding something to an outfit that throws it off just a bit. Doing that gives a little hit of visual interest that you might have been missing otherwise.
THE LINK UPS
Check out the weekly link ups I participate in for even more fashion and style ideas…
Hoodie: Target; Pants: JCPenney (Similar); Jacket: GAP; Shoes: Qupid (Similar)
