The advice to love yourself more gets tossed around quite a bit. I myself am actually a big advocator for it even though my own self-love is a daily work in progress. The reason I keep working at it & the reason it’s important for you to do the same is this: YOU are the one person with whom you spend all of your time. Every second of every day, you are with yourself so it just makes sense that you need to love the person you spend ALL of your time with, right? The problem is, oftentimes loving ourselves is easier said than done…
WHY IS IT SO DAMN HARD TO LOVE YOURSELF?
The self-love struggle is real and the reasons for that struggle are many. As with so much of who we are & how we move through the world, a lot of our self-love struggles can be traced back to childhood. If you think about it, back when you were still full of your little girl magic it did not even enter your head that you weren’t the most amazing creature on the planet. You woke up every day full of a sense of adventure & fun, safe in the knowledge that your fabulous beautiful self was deserving of all the juicy bits life had to offer.
But then, the world happened. Whether it was the cruelty of other kids or harsh words suffered at the hands of the adults in your life, you were soon taught that maybe, just maybe, you weren’t necessarily all that. You begin to doubt your awesomeness. The not so nice words & insinuations begin to change who you know yourself to be. That little seed of self-doubt was planted & as the years went by it took root & grew into a big ol’ bundle of self-loathing…or at the very least, self-dislike. Throw in years societal expectations & beliefs, television, social media & the whole comparison game and it’s easy to see why it’s so damn hard to love yourself.
5 EASY TIPS TO HELP YOU START TO AT LEAST LIKE YOURSELF
Let’s start with baby steps, shall we? Typically we learn to like someone before we love them. And the relationship with yourself is no different. Here are 5 things that you can do to start building a solid foundation on which to build your self-love shrine:
- Really get to know yourself. What are your values, what are the things that really matter to you? What do you like & dislike? What are your beliefs? Who are you? If you don’t really know yourself, how in the hell are you supposed to like yourself?
- Know your strengths and your weaknesses. We all are really really good at certain things. Figure out what those things are for you & acknowledge them. Acknowledge them often. And own your weaknesses. We all have those too. Be honest with yourself & figure out what they are. Accept your weaknesses, learn from them & stop beating yourself up over them.
- Set boundaries AND enforce them. Stop being everyone’s “yes” woman. You matter. Your needs & desires matter. Put yourself first. If something doesn’t feel right, don’t do it. If you’d rather stay home then do the thing (whatever the thing is), then stay home. The people who won’t like your boundaries are the people who took advantage of you not having any. That’s their problem, not yours.
- Treat yo’self. Randomly, whenever you’re feelin’ it, do something nice for yourself. Grab a coffee at your favorite coffee shop. Take a solitary walk outside in nature. Take a nap. Buy a new pair of shoes. Whatever a treat looks like for you, do that.
- Stop being a bully…to yourself. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it a thousand times more. WORDS MATTER. Even, or maybe especially, the words we don’t say out loud. Stop putting yourself down in your head. Quit looking for your imperfections & then harping on them to yourself. The second you catch yourself doing it, interrupt the thought pattern. Count backwards 5-4-3-2-1 & say to yourself “I’m not doing this” and replace the negative thought with something more productive (and hopefully more positive). Eventually that will become a habit. Just interrupting the thought pattern will make a world of difference.
- BONUS TIP: Try some self-love journaling. Remember, you’re the only one reading it so be 100% honest. The simple act of getting our thoughts out on paper makes them so much easier to sort through. I know that for some writing can be a struggle, so to help get you started I’m sharing my Self-Love Journal Prompts PDF with you as a first step in your self-love journey.
BEFORE YOU GO…COULD YOU DO ME A SOLID?
A few weeks ago I sent out a survey to my mailing list & based on the results I honed the questions and developed a follow up survey focused solely on style, image & self-acceptance. The reason behind it is that I want to get laser-focused on how I can best serve you & provide content that’s relevant to where you are right now as well as where you want to be.
I cannot tell you how much I would appreciate a few minutes of your time to fill it out. And as a “thank you” for your time & input I’ve included a link to my newest downloadable workbook, “Clear Your Closet, Find Yourself” as a free gift! Thank you so much for your support!
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