Today there is only a story. No outfit. No tips. No link ups. Just a story. My story of what I have learned this week as a white woman…
THE STORY
**Disclaimer: As always, when I am posting something controversial I want to start with a disclaimer. Normally I would say that if this is something that you don’t want to read, then move on. Today though, I am taking a page from my friend Bettye’s playbook and instead, I ask that you stay. I ask you to truly feel your discomfort and not run away from it. I am not suggesting that you do as I do, I only ask that you listen to my story and perhaps take something away from it that wasn’t a part of you before.
…To be honest, I have been struggling for days over this post. What to say…how to say it…where to find the words to clearly share my feelings, thoughts and opinions in a helpful way. The fear of saying something offensive is real. Not offensive to my white readers, but offensive to POC. This is new to me; I’ve never feared my own words before, but the world has changed so very much and so very quickly that I’m not sure what is the right or wrong thing to say anymore. Believe me, the last thing that I want to do is hurt or offend someone with my words. However, after some serious introspection & talking with my friends Bettye and Shelbee, I came to the conclusion that not sharing them was perhaps more offensive.
I have written before about LGBTQ rights, gun violence in our schools and my opinions on the current government administration. I’m not shy about sharing my thoughts, even if they may be controversial. What I have never written a single thing about though is the prevalence of racial injustices against black humans happening in our country every single day. I just didn’t feel that I was well-versed enough to write about it…and that right there is the whole damn problem.
Why wasn’t I “well-versed” enough to write about something that affects other human beings, that affects so many of my own friends for God’s sake? Ignorance. Plain and simple. I was uninformed about something so horrific because I chose to view the world through the lens of the bubble I’ve always lived in. In my bubble, I love people because of who they are…what type of human being they are. For me, things such as race, sexual orientation, religion, disability and physical appearance have zero effect on how I feel about someone. Therefore, even though I was aware that racism exists, I was effectively blinded to it because of my own beliefs, and that my friends, is white privilege.
I realize that this is where it might get dicey with my white readers, but please, stay with me here. There is a level of discomfort for white people when we use race as a self-descriptor because it’s not something that we’ve ever been required to do before. There is a knee-jerk response for white people to immediately go on the defensive when they hear the term “white privilege”. Coming from a very poor not very pleasant background my first thought used to be, “Excuse me…but I am far from privileged. I had to fight tooth and nail to get where I am today.” And that is because I did not understand the meaning of the term.
Since I have begun my educational journey I have learned much, and one of the concepts that I now understand much better is white privilege. This article on Teaching Tolerance does a beautiful job of explaining it.
“And white privilege is not the assumption that everything a white person has accomplished is unearned; most white people who have reached a high level of success worked extremely hard to get there. Instead, white privilege should be viewed as a built-in advantage, separate from one’s level of income or effort.”
So you see, that built-in advantage gave me the option of viewing the world only through my lens. I wasn’t seeing it every day, I wasn’t living it every day hence the world was as I wanted it to be. Since the very public murder of George Floyd and the currently unfolding events that have happened as a result, I have done some serious self-examination. I have always viewed myself as a basically “good” person; I love and appreciate people based on who they are on the inside and that’s enough…right? Wrong. My silence, my inaction, these things have made me complicit in the ugliness of ongoing systemic racism.
While I have used my voice to fight for the LGBTQ community and I have used my voice to fight for those with disabilities, I have not used my voice to fight for people of color. Why? Because in my mind it did not affect me personally. I mean, after all, I’m not a racist, I treat everyone the same way so I’m doing my part. Again, wrong. That way of thinking I now realize is complete and utter bullshit. Racism does affect me personally…because I am a human being. As a human being it is on me to fight just as hard as my fellow black human beings and friends. I refuse to continue in my complicity. I refuse to continue seeking refuge in my ignorance.
I cannot and will not ever claim to understand how it feels to be black. None of us whom were born white can make that claim. But I can claim this…I now stand with my black sisters and brothers in the fight for racial equality. I will use my white privilege to further the cause in any way that I can as opposed to using it as a shield to protect me from the harsh reality. Now that I know better I will do better. And if what I have shared here leads to even one person doing the same, then I have done my job.
I’m not sure why, but this time feels different on so many levels and we have to keep the momentum going. In recent days I have been educating myself, I have been signing petitions and making donations…I have been doing what I can to be part of the solution. If you are interested in doing the same, here are some links that you might find educational and/or helpful:
- Breonna Taylor
- Ahmaud Arbery
- Dion Johnson
- Chris Cooper
- This beautiful post by an incredible young woman I discovered months ago through my son, @elise.michaux
- This is an excellent list of ways to help compiled by Black Lives Matter.
- Anti-Racism Resources For White People
- Embrace Race
- White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo (the book is currently sold out, but you can purchase and download the Kindle edition)
**If you know of any other resources that I should include, please share them in the comments**
Tell me, what are your thoughts on this very important issue?
