We are all currently living in an era of such great change & societal upheaval that it’s safe to say we’re going to part of history courses taught in the years to come. The inflamed political environment of the last several years & a seemingly never ending pandemic have led to a collective awakening of our shared humanity, our sometimes unintentional ignorance & also to our darker uglier aspects. This awakening has made finding ways to do better, to be better, almost inevitable…
WHY IS AGEISM STILL OKAY?
While we still have a longggg way to go as a society, the needle has at least started to move. Many of us are more aware of racism, sexism, homophobia, sexual harassment, the working poor & harmful patriarchal constructs. We’re becoming more involved, more empathetic & we’re educating ourselves so that we can be part of the change & not the problem.
However, one area that seems to be lagging behind in the social change arena is ageism. I gotta ask, why is ageism still okay? And before I go further I want to clarify that I’m referring to the ageism that is tightly interwoven with sexism. I’m not in any way minimizing the ageism that men do face, but right now I am referring specifically to female-focused ageism.
A perfect example of the interconnectedness of ageism/sexism is the recent flare-up of nastiness over Sarah Jessica Parker’s (and her Sex and the City co-stars) appearance. Her wrinkles, her aging body & her gray hair have somehow become fair game for criticism. Her rightful response was, in part, “There’s so much misogynist chatter in response to us that would Never. Happen. About. A. Man.”
She is 100% correct, and there’s some solid evidence to back it up. Some of the photos of her that have caused the bullshit were taken while she was having lunch with Andy Cohen in NYC. If you take a look at the snaps, Andy too is sporting wrinkles & a full head of gray hair. Nary a comment has been made about his gray hair & aging face. Parker’s response to this was, “I’m sitting with Andy Cohen, and he has a full head of gray hair, and he’s exquisite,” Parker recalled. “Why is it OK for him? I don’t know what to tell you people!”
She goes on to point out that women are pretty much damned if they do, damned if they don’t. If we color our hair, have work done on our faces & dress in clothing that is deemed “for younger women” then we’re trying to be something we’re not. Conversely, if we make the decision to grow in our gray hair & live loud & proud in faces that reflect our life experience then we’ve let ourselves go.
And the judgement isn’t just coming at us from the patriarchy. Women, both young & older willingly jump on the ageism bandwagon. Whether it’s a result of their own limiting beliefs or the crowd mentally that gets to them, ALL WOMEN need to realize & accept that we all age. Every. Single. One. Of. Us. There is no avoiding the fact that inevitably the march of time will crease our faces, gray our hair & change our bodies.
Seriously, W.T.F.?
Why can’t we just comfortably age the way that we each personally see fit? The answer to that question? WE CAN. I believe that the single most powerful way that we can defeat sexist ageism is to simply live our loudest most authentic lives in whatever way we damn well see fit.
A few weeks ago I got my nose pierced for the first time. Did I do it to appear younger? No. I did it because I wanted to. My hair is super long & always some shade of pink. Am I trying to fool you into thinking I’m 22? No. I happen to love my hair long & pink. My favorite place to shop is American Eagle & the Wild Fable section at Target. Does that mean I’m attempting to relive my youth? Hell no. Those are the clothes I love & therefore the clothes that I’m going to wear.
Do strangers judge me? Probably. Do I give a shit? Nope. I am living every day of my life as my authentic self & if people don’t like it, well, that’s on them. My hope is that maybe, every once in awhile, there’s a woman who sees me & thinks, “I want to live my life like that. If she can do it, why can’t I?” The answer is…you can.
Be you. Age in whatever way feels best for you. Do the things you want. Wear what you want. Style your hair & makeup in whatever way you like. If we all start living our lives (and aging) for ourselves & no one else, that is where the change happens. When the world sees that the negative judgement is meaningless, that we can’t be stopped from being our incredible awesome selves, then what’s the point of the judgement anyway? If more women see that it’s okay to be who you are, regardless of age, that just might be the courage boost they needed to do the same.
And if the change of perception doesn’t come? Well, at least you know that you’re being true to yourself & living your life the way you chose to create it. And at the end of the day, that’s what really matters.
LINK UPS
Check out the weekly link ups I participate in for even more good reads & style ideas…
Jeans: American Eagle (Similar); Sweater: Nordstrom (Similar); Boots: Similar
